I was recently sent an email with question that I felt needed answers.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer
history if you die.

If you were that best friend, wouldn’t you want to see what they were surfing right before they died?
It’s better to just set the “Days to Keep History” to zero.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Not a problem if you are always right.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Seriously? Who didn’t want to nap when they were younger? I think that is ALL I ever did.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

There already is one: http://glennmcanally.com/sarcastic/downloads.htm

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Instructional Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHTyH2nuFAw

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

If you didn’t know cursive, how would you sign your name?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Then put the first major intersection as the start address instead of your house.
If you ask for directions FROM your house, you are telling MapQuest that you need help getting out of your own neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Usually, there's no cause of death given for 'ordinary people' because the obituary writer hasn't been provided with one, and the person isn't 'important' enough for the desk to tell them to dig one up. Cause of death is usually the result of an autopsy, which is not done before the obituary is printed in most cases.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

The bad memory is probably due to sleep deprivation.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

I'd rather be the one to hear these “good stories” than to be the one to tell them.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I always know when it strikes, right after lunch.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

Yes, and we can ignore Blu-Ray too. Movies are all being streamed over the internet now.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

It is caused by Word updating Smart Tags, nothing to be worried about.
http://support.microsoft.com/?kbid=816473

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

If that is the case, then I hope you also never wear it.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

They didn’t answer you call because they were leaving YOU a voicemail!

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Never have this problem since there are plenty of mirrors wherever I go.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

They are all listed under the contact name “Do Not Answer”

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Mom what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

Nothing, cause it’s not possible to catch a ninja much less run one over. Everyone knows that!

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

What? My freezer has a light.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Don't you get it? It's a play on words! The word kiss begins with the letter K! Seriously, what did you think it meant? It’s not like your wife will NEVER kiss you unless you give her diamonds.
Like God forbid she should touch you without adequate compensation.

Thanks to all those "friends" that sent me this same email multiple times.
Without them I wouldn't have answered these questions.